Friday, October 9, 2009

Tinkering with terrible 'Guard lists

Recently I have been tinkering around with the armies of the Inquisition to see how they could be tinkered to be effective in today's current competitive climate. One of the discoveries I encountered was the ease in which to give cheap troops special weapons. Expanding upon this, I thought to approach it from a better developed perspective: the Imperial Guard.

The Imperial Guard, unlike Inquisitorial Storm Troopers or Arbites, can benefit from their cheap transports and fantastic order system. I don't like Cadians, and thought to myself "Woudn't it be neat to have an army of Catachans running through a jungle with plasma weapons blasting whatever they see?". I am a Steel Leegion fan first and foremost, but I did strongly consider starting up Catachans when I was beginning the hobby.

So that was the impetus for my list. The way I approached this was to throw together a big Infantry Platoon, using the Combined Squad rule. I intend to combine all Infantry squads deploy them via scouts. The Commissar makes them Stubborn and Leadership 9 which means they'll more than likely hold out for at least 2 turns in combat, tying up whatever dedicated combat unit comes their way and delivering a few surprises in return.

The veterans and special weapons will follow in kind and the Stormtrooper arrive via deep strike to do something I'm not sure what.

The heavy weapons and artillery of course are there to blow stuff up, like the inevitable Vindicator. The Deathstrike missile launcher is to gauge the quizzical nature of the other player. If he ignores it he will probably have an unexpected surprise of a D3+3" blast S10 AP1 vapourising whatever it hits, even in cover. On the other hand, if he does go for it then he will probably destroy it. Whatever isn't being pointed at the Plasma squads means the other artillery is free to act.

Comedy Plasma Ho! 1500 point army list.

HQ: Company Command Squad 200 pts
4 Company Command Squad, Plasmagun x4;
1 Lord Castellan Creed

Elite: Storm Trooper Squad 95 pts
4 Storm Trooper Squad Meltagun
1 Storm Trooper Sergeant

Troops: Veteran Squad 130 pts
Vox Caster; Plasmagun x3
1 Veteran Sergeant Plasma Pistol

Troops: Infantry Platoon 775 pts
1 Infantry Platoon:
4 Platoon Command Squad Medi-pack; Vox Caster; Plasmagun x4
1 Platoon Commander Plasma Pistol; Power Weapon
9 Infantry Squad Plasmagun; Vox Caster
1 Sergeant Plasma Pistol
1 Commissar Plasma Pistol; PowerWeapon
9 Infantry Squad Plasmagun x1
1 Sergeant Plasma Pistol
3 Heavy Weapons Squad Mortar x2; Lascannon x1)
3 Heavy Weapons Squad Lascannon x1; Missile Launcher x2
3 Heavy Weapons Squad Missile Launcher x3
6 Special Weapons Squad Plasmagun x3)
6 Special Weapons Squad Plasmagun x3)

Heavy Support: Deathstrike Missile Launcher 160 pts
Deathstrike Missile Launcher

Heavy Support: Ordnance Battery 140 pts
Colossus

Normally I run a mechanised Imperial Guard list with at least 8 meltaguns and lots of veterans and around 3 Leman Russ tanks. Sometimes a Banewolf makes an appearance too. This list however is genuinely bad. Sometimes part of the fun of playing is to adopt the "Rock & Roll-Rollercoaster" approach of giving bad lists that should do poorly a go and hope for the best. The best games are when the incredibly unlikely occurs to both player's surprise and amusement, like a single Gretchin killing a Chaos Lord of Khorne in Terminator armour. Dropping a horde of meltagunners and heavy artillery on your mechanised opponent and tabling them on turn 3, as your list is tailoured to do, only grants you the satisfaction that you brought scissors to cut their paper.

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